For Those Who Don't Belong. And a Prayer for Deconstruction.

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 For those who would follow Him, Jesus began deconstructing ALL of their beliefs. Unpacking the heart motivations behind them.  Deconstruction feels a lot like losing yourself.  For me it began with unease.  Quiet disagreement stirring in my spirit that would grow more and more uncomfortable.  

When I began my journey as a believer, I was 30-ish years old. Jesus sealed the deal for me.  This Jesus, who loved like no other, who was a simple man with no pretenses of status. The humble carpenter who was holy and meek.  Somewhere along the journey of following Him, I lost that vision. The path got blurry, I thought I was following Him, but I was following a new shepherd.  I traded Free in Christ for Jesus Plus XYZ.  Staying in agreement with my faith community became more important than following Him. When the ”Christian community” at large began to look a lot less like Jesus and a lot more like the Pharisees, I clung to it hard at first.  I dug in. I tried listening to the echo chamber, but I began questioning those voices too. This ember had been lit in my spirit and it would grow.  God began to open my eyes to ways that I had been unloving to His beloved people. To views that encouraged abuse and elevated man over woman instead of Christ over all.  

     I don’t know why Jesus won’t let me go. He has just passionately pursued me, even after I grab idol after idol. He is just so kind and that is the only reason I can’t walk away from Him or His church. He is worth deconstructing over. Again and again. He is worth giving up everything for.  But He will ALWAYS lead you towards loving interactions. He will lead you towards the outsider, the unloved, the powerless, the poor, the orphan. His beautiful gospels show us everything he is for.  


“Lord, these days I don’t want to argue, I want to walk in freedom with You.

I pray for those who are hurting.

I pray for those who feel like Christians are horrible.

For those who feel like they are horrible.

I pray for those believers who are wrestling.

I pray for anyone that has been told they are not welcome in your Kingdom unless XYZ.

Help us to remember that YOU are still good.

You are our Good Shepherd. You are more than enough and we are loved beyond measure by You.

Help us give grace to those we disagree with, remembering that we may have sat on that side of the table once. 

Help us give grace to ourselves, to have space for the idea that we may still have it “wrong.” 

Help us get out of your way so your Spirit can work through us.

Jesus, let us leave all this baggage at your feet.

Take our pain and lift our eyes.

Restore our souls and lead us in the right direction.

Help us to spend more time loving your people than slinging stones.”   

Amen

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